Rule One
Life is not fair; get used to it.

Rule Two
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule Three
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.

Rule Four
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

Rule Five
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

Rule Six
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule Seven
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try “delousing” the closet in your own room.

Rule Eight
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule Nine
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule Ten
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule Eleven
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.